I'm with Team Conan

Enough said

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Matt Davis snaps on heckler in Birmingham, Alabama

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The new ink

So here is the latest tattoo as done by the great Dave "chief baby hands" Evans at Underground art in Memphis. The Tat is my favorite quote from the french writer and philosopher Voltaire. It states "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh"
If you get the meaning you can hang out with me after a show.

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Now playing: Puscifer - Vagina Mine [Alive At Club Nokia]
via FoxyTunes

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my hot and yet Nerdy friend Cara

So This is my hot and yet nerdy friend Cara that is all you need to know...wait no .You need to know she kicks Asssssssss

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The devil carries of the dead

Ducks

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Saturday morning thoughts

I have always heard that there are 2 sides to every story, I think thats become outdated I think every story has three parts, the part you want to hear, the part you don’t, and what really happened .I take that, all that. The good the bad and the ugly and make you laugh.Sometimes you might not want to laugh but you find yourself laughing none the less..I’m not knocking the comics that are goofy, or prop acts or guitar acts of the world, but if one can make fun of things in life that hurt, scare, or disturb why wouldn’t you want that. The world is full of atrocities and if I can make some of those things go away or give a different perspective on an issue and make a slightly less sucky day for someone I will.Some people consider me a dirty comic cause i use words in our language that are considered “bad”. No words are bad, words convey thought and sometimes the only term for a situation is a word that one might have been admonished for as a child.I think in that is someone who has come to a comedy show ,who is buying the required 2 drink minimum and are old enough to make decisions can hear the word “fuck” and not cry to mommy. I don’t market myself as a Christian comic or a clown for children. I am a drinking, swearing, role model for the real world.Off stage I am your basic flawed human, a writer, a thinker. On stage or as soon as I walk into the club I am a stand up comedian and I am Fucking Funny.

Mo Alexander

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New York New York a wonderful town....for 151 ewww it hurts

If Nyc = Bright lights Big city..Long Island =big hair and fake titties. I love this place...The Brokerage in bellmore Li. This a gig that i look forward too every time i can get it. These guys don't have to book me but the do cause Im different and Im funny and gosh darn it i rock a room..ew yuck. Anyway I have to thank Cara Amore for introducing me the one of he silliest club owners around the the very funny Mark Lund. The first night i Met this guy was in Atlantic city,where we bonded while dancing to Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T." in the middle of the street at a stop light.Yes we jumped out of the car and on either side of the car danced while Pyt bumped on the system..Becaue this was atlantic very few people noticed, odd. Anyway this way maybe my 4th time there i love this club and i love the people at the club.It's now a game to see how drunk they can get me onstage while maintaining the show.This time as i walked in the first shot was being poured for me, a huge shot of 151.When i say huge i mean take a normal size mixed drink glass and fill it. Ok so if you read this blog you might know that I'm a tequila drinker how these people think its 151 happened the last time i was there. They were out of all the good tequila so i did a few shots of 151.That time i got drunk enough to fall asleep in my car with the door open and got rained on.What a horrible feeling waking up in a car, wet thinking omg did i have a wreck am I bleeding ,oh nevermind its water. And no i wasnt tryung to drive that night i was just going to the car to make a few phone calls. Anyway this time they thought 151 was the drink of choice. James the manager's only purpose in life i think is to run one of the best clubs around and try to get me fucked up. Thank God that there was only one show on friday night cause the fed me 4 of those massive shots that night. I did the show then they tried to feed me another. Why, I was apparently drunk enough already to hit on some chick while her father stood next to her and made fun of me hitting on his daughter. I some how got a number and then lost said number in the process of not dying. After visting Burger king and the bathroom a few times sleep was welcome
Saturday night was a 2 show night so i knew that i must straighten out the 151 mistake, plus Jane and I were heading back to Memphis right after to make it to the Monday night Sinner's Ball. Those lovely asshole friends fixed the 151 situation from the night before but still somehow managed to get me drunk on a bottle of patron that Jimmy the co-owner had went out and bought just for me, and apparently the waitress that was trying to match me shot for shot.Nice try little girl. You held in as long as you could i know and if i hadn't had to head back to Memphis maybe we could have played my favorite game game called amber alert.That's when she dresses like a hot Britney spears as a 13 year old and yells help a lot. I digress, 2 shows, 1 bottle of patron and a standing ovation..good times i love them...Jane and i headed back to Memphis got lost for and hour in NYC ,at least that whats she said i was too far gone to help with directions. We made it out and i was finally good about jersey where we pulled over to get rid if some legal Mexicans i was smuggling in my upper intestines....
Made it back to Memphis Sunday night .Slept then met up with the boys for the first ever Memphis Sinners Ball. More on that later

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