Herpes, tow trucks, and the dozens

Once again life on the road can get odd.So this past weekend went to Johnson city Tn,and survived the weird small town mentality with the help of Jane Haze and the new club manager Jesse"im 26 and stupid"Hill, that guy is nuts and i like him. Got to see Sara on this trip, I don't know how to describe Sara we dated last year for a time ,then things got weird then we didn't. Anyway she contacted me a few weeks ago with a most interesting pick up line..."when you come to jc we're fucking and I'm giving you Herpes." Well being that she and i have had some the most incredible sex ever that statement was both intriguing and scary, I didn't want herpes, cause herpes are like pringles once they pop they just wont stop. So on the Saturday night show she shows up, kisses me, bites me and then goes into her purse and pulls out a large stuffed herpes..It was a toy a big yellow with eyes herpes.i was relieved. Anyway we hung out till i got her drunk and sick.Thats when the real fun began,Jane,Jesse and i went to a gay bar to meet his sister,where we were accosted by a drunken alien gay boy who kept asking if we came in a black beamer cause it was so fucked up he didn't know if drove one or had rode in one. Being in a gay bar is nothing new for me, as a hetrosexual male from Memphis going to gay bars underage was the only place we could drink, so not much shocks me.I was shocked on this night a little boy looking girl showed us her tits.Oh my god, she looked like a twelve year old boy 12 do you understand. The best most perfect set of tits I think I have ever seen. At least d's how she hid them i'll never know. We left and thats when i discovered that the place where Jesse had suggested parking my jeep was a no parking ,parking lot owned by a mexican resturant that didn't open till noon the next day. Fucking cunts. Oh this was where the fun was about to begin,did i mention the snow. Yes i said snow,we're standing outside a gay bar in a snowstorm freaking out trying to find where my ride was,and thanks gay bar for being so nice and letting us into the warm building, cunts. So after many phone calls,a 10 cab ride back to the hotel and then 165 plus 5 dollar tip i had my car back, thanks jesse for not punching that guy in the throat. Off to perkins then bed. Sunday Afternoon, went to knoxville ended up as part of the Spanky Brown Sho Nuff Sunday Show. That was fun but the real fun happened when the real show was over..6 comics alcohol and egos bigger than Ralphie May going off on each other for over 2 hours. Spanky Brown, G.R Godwin, Shaun Jones, Jane Haze, Josh Phillips, and myself.Omg the level of stupidity was amazing just a few highlights

from Jane Haze to Shaun "somewhere in russia is a naked nut cracker"

from Gr to spanky "give it up for the burger king of comedy"

spanky to josh "a pregnant kd lane"

shaun to me "your words have meat on them"

Lots of fun , now I'm fighting a cold that i got from standing in the snow,that the only thing i ever want to get from hanging at a gay bar in johnson city,and yes i kept the herpes its cute and funny and i thank you Sara