easter is for retards?

We know i survived Prestonsburg,KY yuck and Charleston,WV was next on my road schedule.Thankfully Fridays night was pretty uneventful just the required redneck nutcase and marine nutjobs who yell "coondog" and "if tell you that i would have to kill you" it wasn't until the Saturday night show that i was worried. I went down to the lobby of the club where the staff had taken my headshot and added bunny ears.not drawn on bunny ears but cut out ears from some coloring book. Apparently i was the official chocolate bunny of the comedy zone and the Ramada itself. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the manager Dennis looking flustered ,i knew this couldn't be good .He came over to me and said"look we might have a problem tonight,they sat a retard(his words not mine)in the front row and i know how much you love that word""look i dont know what to do so i'm just going to ask if they want their money back now" I wasn't worried much, i know anybody who brings a mentally handicapped person to a comedy show with one of the most frank and potentially dark comedians around know what they're getting themselves into.What they should have told me was that the "retarded" person in the front row was part of a birthday party,no not his.the birthday party was for the mother of said "retard"and her large posse of lesbians .yes i said large party of lesbians. Not saying the lesbians were large, not all of them but there were several i wouldn't want to meet on a dark softball field. i did my thing i didn't change material at all just changed the placement of my main retard line, i moved it up in the set to where it was almost the first thing i did.That's right,face...the lesbian party had no problems with what i said. The guy didn't move much, just sat and ate his french fries..It wasn't until one of the chicks reached over and decided that he didn't mind sharing his fries with me that all hell broke loose,as soon as the plate of fries came towards me, I was hit with a very hard barrage of leftover fries that he must had been hoarding for later.People let me tell you retard strength is real, he almost put an eye out It took three of the Rosie O'Donnell sized ones to calm him down.The fries were returned the show went on and no one was pissed, even"coondog" dude came back and brought friends ..that didn't want to kill me .I like Charleston ,its my kind of place full of nasty strip bars ,lesbians and super strong very accurate throwing retards.