Herpes, tow trucks, and the dozens

Once again life on the road can get odd.So this past weekend went to Johnson city Tn,and survived the weird small town mentality with the help of Jane Haze and the new club manager Jesse"im 26 and stupid"Hill, that guy is nuts and i like him. Got to see Sara on this trip, I don't know how to describe Sara we dated last year for a time ,then things got weird then we didn't. Anyway she contacted me a few weeks ago with a most interesting pick up line..."when you come to jc we're fucking and I'm giving you Herpes." Well being that she and i have had some the most incredible sex ever that statement was both intriguing and scary, I didn't want herpes, cause herpes are like pringles once they pop they just wont stop. So on the Saturday night show she shows up, kisses me, bites me and then goes into her purse and pulls out a large stuffed herpes..It was a toy a big yellow with eyes herpes.i was relieved. Anyway we hung out till i got her drunk and sick.Thats when the real fun began,Jane,Jesse and i went to a gay bar to meet his sister,where we were accosted by a drunken alien gay boy who kept asking if we came in a black beamer cause it was so fucked up he didn't know if drove one or had rode in one. Being in a gay bar is nothing new for me, as a hetrosexual male from Memphis going to gay bars underage was the only place we could drink, so not much shocks me.I was shocked on this night a little boy looking girl showed us her tits.Oh my god, she looked like a twelve year old boy 12 do you understand. The best most perfect set of tits I think I have ever seen. At least d's how she hid them i'll never know. We left and thats when i discovered that the place where Jesse had suggested parking my jeep was a no parking ,parking lot owned by a mexican resturant that didn't open till noon the next day. Fucking cunts. Oh this was where the fun was about to begin,did i mention the snow. Yes i said snow,we're standing outside a gay bar in a snowstorm freaking out trying to find where my ride was,and thanks gay bar for being so nice and letting us into the warm building, cunts. So after many phone calls,a 10 cab ride back to the hotel and then 165 plus 5 dollar tip i had my car back, thanks jesse for not punching that guy in the throat. Off to perkins then bed. Sunday Afternoon, went to knoxville ended up as part of the Spanky Brown Sho Nuff Sunday Show. That was fun but the real fun happened when the real show was over..6 comics alcohol and egos bigger than Ralphie May going off on each other for over 2 hours. Spanky Brown, G.R Godwin, Shaun Jones, Jane Haze, Josh Phillips, and myself.Omg the level of stupidity was amazing just a few highlights

from Jane Haze to Shaun "somewhere in russia is a naked nut cracker"

from Gr to spanky "give it up for the burger king of comedy"

spanky to josh "a pregnant kd lane"

shaun to me "your words have meat on them"

Lots of fun , now I'm fighting a cold that i got from standing in the snow,that the only thing i ever want to get from hanging at a gay bar in johnson city,and yes i kept the herpes its cute and funny and i thank you Sara

[...]

valentines day massacre?

Saturday was a good day,i didn't have to use my ak. i digress, after a very interesting friday night at a party(sorry i missed your show anne) i had the chance to show up at cafe eclectic and do few walk on scenes with the Wiseguys improv troupe.Apparently i can be used as a Edie Amein look alike, thanks Joe. Then headed down to the p&h cafe to see Oracle and the mountain.. love those guys, go buy there cd ..Please..Ran into a few people from high school 20 years ago and had a really good time catching up and making fun of our gay classmates.....

Oh i have a new friend and pr person....Cara you kick ass, more of me everywhere soon..

Check the schedule and see when I'm coming near you...

[...]

changes in the blog

So... here we are again,me looking at you. You looking at me and you see the same ole post and you're wondering do i ever update this thing. Not as much as i wanted to when i started this thing i know i know not what you signed up for a fucking writer and comedian.You want witty you want funny, I want you to but both shirts and cds and come to the shows and help me create my next cd.i kinda cheated on you guys....I found twitter, just a mini blog that suites my daily rants much better. So i think its time we change things here.Heres the new way I'm going to do things .I will post at least twice a week to this blog.No matter how,tired or drunk or pissed or bored or loving life twice a week. One road story that i can never tell on stage and one expanded twitter post.A twitter post that needs a lot more than the 140 that they give me .that won't be the only change to the deranged brain,as you can now see my tour dates, i'll be linking to sites that i love both about comedy,and my hometown of Memphis ok thats it for now..wait nope its not.if you want to see the daily tweets from twitter follow me ..www.twitter.com/mo_alexander

see ya later this week

 

[...]